Getting ready for bed. It is the harvest festival in Rockport tomorrow. I am thinking of going. Doing so will of course be quite painful. See this place I love so much, my house which I am no longer in, trying so hard to be in again. But maybe I should immerse myself in the pain to rouse myself to fight again. I am not fighting enough. I know that I can grow in the fight I must mount like I have grown as an artist. When I turn corners I do not just go down new roads--I go into new worlds. As a conqueror. Someone who knows no fear. When I reach that point. What is going to happen, though, is I will grow again, I will get past this breakdown, and I am going to be yet further removed from everyone else. I am going to be even more alone. I would like to compose the fifth story of the week tomorrow morning. It's not often you get to do five stories in a week. I have only done that once. But I will try and do that again here in a year in which I also wrote a novel in a week. I started a story called "Authenticate" on Sunday that I have not finished. It won't be that story, probably. I was lying in bed just now working on one called "Read the Ice." Last night I was working on one called "Sun Dog."
But for now I will just put this up. I've been meaning to. Three versions of the same song. The song is by a band called Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. One of the best bands in the world. They've made some of the best rock and roll records one will ever hear. The song is called "All Rise." It's the last song from their most recent LP, from last year, called Wrong Creatures. It's one of the most beautiful songs I know, with some of the most beautiful singing, especially on the bridge. I'll put the lyrics here first:
Maybe I was yours to keep Burning in the eyes you heap Someday I will take your hand Moving through another land
And every single second tears This even from the love you had But I'll be right behind your eyes Turning to a love you hide
And every single breath you take Will be haunting, oh Against the weight
Maybe I was 'sposed to fall Turn into a shooting star Every single heart forgive Must've filled the arms of grace before
I'll be right behind your eyes Working through the words you light Till every single one's betrayed I'll be holding on against the weight
Moments only seem to pass Days are never born to last Without you I never had a chance From the moment you left my hand I was trying to be someone I can't But she wouldn't let you back Now I'm tired of waiting for you tonight
Hanging on a single breath Screaming 'til there's nothing left It's just all we'll ever find Broken as all our minds
This is the album version. It is sung by Robert Levon Been. On the verse beginning "I'll be right behind your eyes," the song is actually in two time signatures at once--both 2/4 and 4/4. You're not going to hear something like that very often. The bridge starts with the line "Moments only seem to pass." As affecting a vocal as there is. I'm writing the story, "Read the Ice," as I write this. For fuck's sake, God. What are you doing to me if you will not let there be more? I will put up the other versions later. I am going to cry now. It's just too powerful. The story is just too powerful.