Monday 1/9/23
Got a Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet birthday card for my three-year-old niece. One opens the card and Piglet is giving Pooh a big hug. Can be hard to find a birthday card for a small child, but found this one right away. Good process, as they say, at the CVS.
On both Saturday and Sunday I ran 3000 stairs and did 300 push-ups. Yesterday marked 2373 days, or 339 weeks, without a drink.
I am not going to meet someone on a dating site. I shouldn't be on a dating site. I've been kicked off all but one, anyway. Banned. Why does one get banned? One gets banned--especially an athletic-looking white male--when one says the simple truth.
Here is how this works. I will politely say to someone I'm not interested in them. They will hound me. Each thing they send will be nastier than the last. Sometimes, I will then say why I was not interested. They haven't mastered the basic rudiments of third grade English. They don't know how "then" and "than" work. I'm looking for someone fit. Theirs was the twentieth profile in a row I'd seen that consisted entirely of the words, "Live, laugh, love," and they didn't even spell all three correctly. They said that everything happens for a reason. So: Jews were cooked in ovens for a reason? Those children were shot in Texas for a reason? What might those reasons be? And so forth.
What that person will than (kidding!) do--because this is how the world now works and has been set up to work--is that they will report me, citing verbal abuse. I don't swear. I don't insult them. I simply say the truth. Economically.
That will get you banned from every dating cite. Misandry is a massive thing in our society right now. Hatred of any truth is an even bigger thing.
Today, a woman wrote me on the one place I'm not yet banned--this would be the horrible Facebook dating extension--and said that control has no place in a relationship.
That's super. Thank you so much, stranger, for writing me with that bit of brilliance. I did what I normally do in these instances, and offered a "Great, good luck."
Want to know what she sent back? And this is typical, mind you. This is just one thing I'm sharing. I'm not sharing it because it's so different. I'm sharing it because I'm sitting here and I thought I'd share one.
She wrote, "Strange that you condone rape. Peace out cub scout."
That's what we're dealing with. Most people--and yes, it's most--are that insane.
Now, had I said, "What on earth is wrong with you?" this person would have reported me--it's a tattling-based system--and said I was verbally abusive, the big bad white man, she'd throw in the word misogyny, and I would have been banned. As a general--and generally accurate--rule of thumb, if you're sane, you get banned. That's how this works. A metaphor for culture in that.
And the arrogance. This other woman--both of these were this morning--had a photo of her sitting on the edge of a cliff, with her back to the camera, and her arms extended, palms turned towards the sky.
I thought, "Here we go." She said she was a mystic, among other things. But, because she was the first person I'd seen in about fifty profiles who wasn't morbidly obese and who had a profile of more than three words in length, with all of the words spelled correctly, I had to hit the like button.
This is now our best and brightest in America. Probably the best profile I'll see all week.
You pretty much have to say the first words if you're the guy. A woman won't do that. She'll give lip service to so many things, but it's for show. Like most things in our world. Normally what she wants is to get a compliment. She's there to collect them, because she is broken. She will have no interest in connecting. Especially with someone on a different level. But really in general.
Eventually, she'll pick someone who is to the left, to the right, or below her, in her mind. A loser. She is picking him for her ego. He's doing the same, or, because he's a guy, he's happy just to have anyone, especially if they're reasonably attractive. That will be most of what he cares about. Having someone, and looks. That someone will have him.
The relationship will be a disaster, because of course it will be, and most relationships are. But they will put the right photos on social media, and they will live the lie, as they are both miserable, and one or the other or both develops a closet drinking problem, with neither having a single real friend in the world. Kids will typically be had for distraction, and as an attempt to fill the void. And also in hopes of knowing actual love, which neither of those people give the other.
And again, as with today's earlier entry on here, that's a kind of person who is not going to show support for me and what they think I am. Unless it confers something on them, ego-wise. That can be being part of a group, because then they feel like they're part of a community, they "belong."
So I say to this woman that she certainly looks like a mystic in that first photo. I have no interest in her. I know how this will go. I also know that there is nothing else out there, pretty much. She writes me back to start praising herself. As you can imagine, my profile is unique. There is no profile at all like it from anyone else. It's me. Clearly me. She's not going to be interested in that. She's interested in herself. Never mind that there's nothing there. That's why she has to be interested in herself.
She starts going on about how a couple found her thus positioned and becoming one with nature and the world--came upon her along the trail, that is--and asked if they could take a "forever photo" of her to preserve this beautiful moment, and she said yes (after which, one assumes, she resumed her pose--again, a cultural metaphor). Then she said, "Do you meditate? Do you do yoga?"
Fuck the fuck off. Holy fuck. Batshit delusional. And the narcissism.
What did I do? What do you think I did? I gave the "Great, good luck."
That is the best you will see. Someone who isn't 900 pounds who spells a dozen words correctly.
Now, I know that I won't meet that person who I want in my life this way. I will meet them because they come to me and say, "I read all of this and this and that, and that, and I have to know you." Through here. Or later, when more opportunities like that await me in ways they don't right now because of this situation.
But I do do this, in the off-chance for...what? A miracle? There is just nothing to most people. If they could be less to nothing to them, there would be. There really kind of is.
