Tuesday 3/12/24
I get up every day and I know how things stand. I know on that day I can and will write the best thing ever written and make the best thing ever made--things--and it won't matter on that given day until it does. This knowledge, waking up to face that knowledge, will take a lot of the energy from you, if you are that unique person in that unique situation. A lot of the will.
But if you are that unique person, you're also going to make sure you prevail, so that a day will come when nothing will matter more than that work, and you will oversee what happens next. What keeps happening. Oversee the change that is made in the world, and continue to generate that which creates change and keeps developing what is wrought by that change. Solutions. Better ways forward. Better ways of being.
I need more energy. So I'm overhauling how I eat. I eat too much crap. That's done. Vegetables, fruits, nuts, grains. I'll pick up that mouthguard at the dentist later this week, and hopefully that helps with the sleeping and headaches. I can control these things, so I am controlling them. I'll do everything that must be done to beat these people. Energy is imperative with what I do, what I must endure for now, what I ask of myself.
Got nuts, celery, onions, and granola today. Ordered a bunch of my teas in bulk from Amazon (cheaper). I can get stronger--in all ways--and I will. Reached my 400 weeks without a drink the other day like I said, but there's room for improvement in other physical matters. My spirit can get stronger, too, and my resolve. Yes, even stronger. I can do much better with everything. I can be more dedicated. Yes, even more dedicated. I loathe confrontation, as I've said, but I need to fight more on here. Put more people up. Fight and fight and fight and fight and fight. Get to the point where doing what I need to do in terms of exposing people, going after bigots (and rapists, thieves, sexual harassers, people who trade publication for sex, the terrible writers, their log-rollers, incompetents, plagiarists, racists, sexists, Cal Morgan, etc.), is neither something I want to do nor don't wish to do. It's just another part of another day of a war that I'm not going to lose. Pull this corrupt system to the ground. By aggressively, diligently, making a day in, day out point of doing so.
It's like this little thing, right? You say you'll make this health tweak. Everyone says that. It's more than that here. It's about realizing the situation, knowing what I must do, and putting myself in a better position re: my health, energy, and strength without creating further disadvantages and things against me than those that are already in place. You want to change the world to the good more than anyone ever has--by far--it takes everything. Everything you can give to that cause.
Did my 100 push-ups, ran 3000 stairs.
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