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Voices

Thursday 9/23/21

I need counsel and I need support. Even when counsel is just another voice. I can't be out here entirely all alone in these trenches. These trenches of hell. Of insanity. Where everything is backwards. Where everything functions to the last detail as if master-minded by some genius architect who designs the best personal hells. This is what my hell would be. It wouldn't be burning alive in flames, over and over again, on a feedback loop of charring flesh. It'd be this. Seeing and experiencing what I experience every day.


__ __ __ __ __


J: He does seem like a good guy who really likes you but very lost on the true picture of what's happening


C: Okay


J: It's a shame you're dealing on this level and this is where this is at


J: I know this isn't good for you and I'm sorry for that big time


J: It's a fucking crime


C: It's worse than death


J: He's offering you a game plan I guess but if he were smart he would go with yours


J: The getting something else outside of Franklin done and out won't change anything


C: No it won't


J: Although the jazz right away alongside 33 1/3 could be a good thing


J: But it's the industry not the book


C: People don't/can't get it


J: It's sad that you have to roll with a guy like this currently


J: Horrific


J: This is a guy that really should be nothing to you but he's not evil and for now it's just that


__ __ __ __ __


"Colin, sir, apologies for the delay on my end--consumed by work on a comprehensive merger of two universities. I know how you feel about statements about "work" and folks being "busy" so I am hesitant to claim that excuse. But you know me, I am a grinder of the old school and so I grind in my one-dimensional way, at one thing at a time.


"That said, please do put all doubts behind you. I know the barriers, the bullshit and the blackballing you face, but you always find the higher level. Forward, always forward. As you used to say many years ago, "to the toppermost of the poppermost!" The walls will crack, the dam will break, the truth will out.


"You can doubt me, question me and call me out--all well deserved, but never doubt yourself. Never."