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What time am I supposed to be wild?

Tuesday 4/16/24

Mother to her child: It's only 9:30 in the morning and you're already wild.


Child: What time am I supposed to be wild?


Speaking of Roddy Doyle, another fan of the indoor scarf affectation--because you never know when a snowstorm is going to whip itself up inside of the building--his approach to writing can be summarized in the following sentence: "Perhaps if I write the word 'eejit' 5000 more times, I'll be funny."


You won't be, but I bet it won't stop you from trying.


A man to me on the stairs the other day: "Just run them going down!"


Ah. We're doing jokes. What do you want here, guy? You want a pretend laugh? You want me to say, "Good one"? You want a smile like you're some wit? What do you want? You probably don't want me to tell you to fuck right off, so I didn't. Kept that to myself.


You know how people like to take a photo that's annoying and put it on social media and say, "Caption this!"? No matter how many people respond, not a single one of them will say something that is not stupid, more annoying still, and that does not make you feel embarrassed on their behalf.


An anecdote about another man: The other day, I was finishing a set of push-ups behind the disused 1950s tollbooth on the lawn in front of the 1931 shuttered police station. A man was about fifteen yards away on Cross Street with his wife. He was a man very out of shape. He saw me, and began to applaud.


What is the thinking there? What are we doing? Are we being funny? Someone wishing to play devil's advocate to the things my questions are suggesting would say, "He was being friendly! Like that guy on the stairs!"


No he wasn't. People are trying to perform to get attention and credit. To show off, for a lack of a better phrase. I'm not on Hanover Street in a suit in front of Mike's Pastry doing these push-ups to entertain the line. It's pretty obvious that this is a guy working out who is paying you no mind and isn't courting attention by being conspicuous and who does these all the time.


Also: Do people have no shame? How much self-awareness do you need to have in order to have shame?


Text to the Captain of the Admiral and the Captain fame:


"Greetings soon-to-be-restored-to-home-and-hearth Bostonians. I have been told of the Admiral's wounds as a result of the Adventure of the Parking Lot and will take the train out your way to unload the car if you are amenable. I simply need a time. Hope the journey home is a smooth one (I know your back has been troubling you) and am looking forward to seeing you both."


They have wintered in Florida where they have grandchildren, so the Boston area has lacked for the Admiral and the Captain since mid-January. The Admiral fell in a parking lot the other day and cut his hand to the tune of seven stitches. He cannot lift heavy things, lest the stitches come undone.



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