Can't eat it so good

Tuesday 7/8/25

I find humans almost completely unfunny now as if they border on being incapable of being funny. Time and again I'll see some online comment or post that is meant to be funny, and in each and every instance it is wincingly the opposite. It's embarrassing, it's not witty, it's not clever, it's not funny. But people can't stop going for this thing they can't do.

Having said that, I do find animals funny. An otter, for instance, can make me laugh. Even, dare I say it, a cat. And you know how I feel about cats.

There's a subreddit called Am I the Asshole, abbreviated to AItA, because, of course, people must abbreviate everything, in which people seek online credit points, as they always do, because this is what many people live for, having nothing else to live for.

I think there's something in that last observation. People live for online points because they have nothing else to live for. Warranted repeating. That's what you should think when you see people whoring after it like that. "This person has nothing else to live for."

They could change that if they wanted to. But they won't, will they? Because that would take work, effort, sincerity, humility, self-awareness, and we know how much just about everyone in the world hates those things. Fie. Bad stuff.

Or so we think, as we become more and more miserable precisely because we hate and avoid those things.

Anyway, someone will post the most ludicrous thing in this subreddit in which they are clearly not the asshole just so they can get other people to say to them that this thing isn't their fault and they are great and hooray for you.

"My girlfriend stabbed me seventeen times, including through the back of the head when I was sleeping and in both of my eyes and also in the dick. Am I the asshole because I got blood on the set of antique knives she inherited from her great grandfather?"

All of these "businesses"--I put that in quotes because doesn't so much feel like a scam now, like that's how it has to be, something chintzy and scam-y or else you can't have a business, certainly not one that is primarily online--where the bio in the profile can't even space things properly. Do you know what I'm talking about? The spaces between the words and the commas, and the spaces between the last words of sentences and the periods at the end of them.

So fucking sloppy. But give us your real money for our mostly pretend services made up by me , crazy con artist scam-y type of person with nothing to live for but look I have 20K followers .

You know why this happens--they use the autofill. Think of how lazy you have to be to just use the autofill. Think of how lazier you need to be to use the autofill for what's essentially the signage of your business. This is like the sign in the front window or over the door of a brick and mortar store. And you're not even going to take a half a second to get that right?

"...more than words could ever express."

More than your words could ever express.

You don't speak for words.

Good people don't become president. You'd need to be a bad person who does a succession of bad things, usually over a very long period of time.

You know what's funny about people? They see one tiny thing from someone as its publicly presented, and they think, "That's a good person." But if they knew that person, as in actually knew them, for like a day, they'd think the opposite and be sworn off ever thinking they didn't suck.

And yet, it's as if no matter how long we live, we don't know the simplest things like this. It's like with athletes or musicians. If you like that person and tout their morality, you'd be so swiftly disabused of that if you were privy to more about them.

How can people not know this?

It's mind-blowing how naive people are, regardless if they've been alive for three, four, five, six, seven decades, and so forth. I wonder what anyone is capable of knowing. Experience isn't some great teacher anymore. Was it ever? Well, more so than now.

Basically no one knows that "every day" and "everyday" are separate constructions with different uses. Fine. I get that. But I think people are so stupid now that if you explained to them how those constructions work, they wouldn't be able to implement them. That's how mentally helpless I believe people to be. You could give them the answers, you could show them how it works, and it wouldn't matter. It'd still be beyond them.

But when I see that someone doesn't know that or they pluralize "anyway," or write "per say," I know that they are not someone ever to be taken seriously, who deserve no time, energy, attention for anything they've ever said or will ever say. Which leaves virtually no one.

All of these computer-generated photos of women on social media that have that wet, magic marker-y glow to them--the bot glow--and these stupid guys trying to talk to them. What can you discern if you can't discern this? Anything? Can you tell your finger from like a hot dog if you're this kind of person? Is it only when you bite the finger and you're like, "Ouch, damn, can't eat it so good" that you know?

You could probably draw a couple of breasts on a cinder block and these guys would try to romance it. "Hay." Because many of them can't even spell "hey" correctly.

Great world we got going here.

I don't know if there will be something that we now think of--well, a few people do--as "history," because people will be too stupid to write anything down, there won't be books, no one will read, no one will be able to remember anything, and no one will care because it's not about them, but if there is, Jeff Bezos will go down as a very villainous figure, an example of something and someone awful.

The thing about being this kind of villain is you just plow forward with it, no matter what, no matter if you know that's what you are, because you're that rotten that you don't care. And you think you're above it. Almost like you're not even really in the world that you're in. Nothing applies to you like it applies to the people of that world who aren't you. And if no one gets that, it's the fault of all of those people who don't, so what does history matter anyway?

Look at this:

Walking out of Dunkin and handed the homeless guy a dollar. Someone stopped me and said “u a real one, I see u” Turns out I gave him a 20 instead of a 5 😑

People are such weasels they can't even keep their own stories straight within the space of a single post. Thought it was a buck? No? Five bucks? And what an eagle-eyed person oh-so--conveniently walking by who saw that it was a twenty, which it wasn't, because none of this ever happened.

But gotta get them points! What's life if you're not getting internet points for shit you didn't do and thinks you aren't? Right? Big old waste, otherwise. I mean, what? You're going to actually be and do good things? Please, what a hassle.

u real scum , I see u .