DuckTales (Woo-oo!)

Wednesday 12/17/25

Why do so many women on social media look like they were drawn with a marker? Is that a filter option? Marker-sheen? It's like their features are missing features or they haven't dried yet.

We're so reluctant to be our true selves no matter the context or the stakes. We hate to do it. We're increasingly incapable of it, too, with so many people not having a true self or any foundational self. We piss it away by doing, and pursuing, and being all about these other things that aren't even really things.

Personally, I'm really enjoying how many millions of women now insist on referring to themselves as a "girly." Sounds smart. Like something a really intelligent, substantive adult would say.

I'm just a marker-sheen girly!

Where are my fellow marker-sheen girlies at?

Am I doing that right? I hope so.

Same with the women who use the word "feral"--always incorrectly--at every opportunity. In a world where people each seem to know fifty words and no more, there will be a new word they start using that stands out as different from the others--a word that people think of as a "vocab" word--which they proceed to use all the time, whose meaning they don't know, a word they'd never use on their own, but use because the broken, ignorant people just like them are all tossing it around as well, and this is what broken, ignorant, lonely people do so they can feel like they are a part of something that, in reality, doesn't exist, save as a group of broken, ignorant, lonely people who are too weak and too stupid and too lacking in individuality to try and do anything about what they are and have gotten themselves to become.

Post from an unctuous overweight guy hugging a cat in his profile photo:

I like to think that Rob Reiner just gave River Phoenix a huge hug hello.

Combine those things--obsequiousness, gut, kitty embrace, fantasy pearly gate-type embrace, insincerity, cloyingly performative bathos--and you're going to get yourself some likes! Precious, precious, precious likes!

Remember Scrooge McDuck swimming through those gold coins in his money vault at the start of DuckTales? That's how people are but with likes standing in for coins in the self-esteem vault (which is actually a sepulcher of intellectual, emotional, moral, and spiritual desiccation and death, but hey, who's counting when the only thing worth counting are likes and followers amirite/chef's kiss!!!!!) rather than the money vault.

You like to think that.

Sure you do.

I really enjoy thinking like this. What a fun, meaningful, thought I'm having, which I keep revisiting. Because I like to. I enjoy it. I've enjoyed it throughout today. I should stop and enjoy it again soon. Wait...wait...wait...ah, they're hugging again! OMG. Someone's cutting onions! I should tell people about this totally believable thing I like to do. I could really get a bunch of likes.

Awww. Awww. Awww. And look at your belly and Mr. Mittens nestled up against it. Awww. Awww. I can practically hear him purring from here. That's a content kitty! Content kitty content! You're so achievable in every which way and so gentle. You can probably get some dates off of this post, too. Are you a writer? Could totally help with an agent and a book deal.

Look at that...twenty-three new followers. Algorithm, do your thing and spread me wide! That's it! Spread me wide! Yeah! Keep spreading! I will if you will!

Nothing like whoring the old soul and selling out the self for some internet likes. Who needs a soul or an identity when you got likes?

Because that, if you don't know, is what it's all about. Hooray for living in 2025!

Awww.

Saw a post from a guy who paints pictures of deceased baseball players. One was of Earle Combs. I doubt anyone reading this has any clue who Earle Combs is, but you could look him up if you wanted to know. This guy described his painting by saying it was of Combs lacing a bloop single.

You can't lace a bloop. To lace a ball means to hit it sharply, on a line.

If you're going to be someone who paints action scenes of a lesser known member of the Murderers' Row of the 1927 Yankees' line-up, shouldn't you know how basic baseball terms work? How did this evade you? That's something you should have command of, right? Like that ought not to be beyond your grasp?

Why does no one know what any words actually mean?

I know...language is fluid! Definitely fluid when you're talking about ballplayers from the 1920s. It's almost like the dumbest people like to say that language is fluid as a way to cover up--and turn it into a good thing--that they haven't a clue what the most basic words of the English language mean. It's not me! Language is fluid! You're the problem if you don't get it.

Another fun one:

u guys ever actually watched charlie brown christmas movie??? just saw it. incredible film

Not a movie. Not a film. A TV special.

"You knew what I meant!"

I know what you are.

Did no one's parents ever say to them, "It's better to get things right than not get things right"?

We won't take a little care at all, though, will we? Like doing so is an infringement on our right to assert just how obtuse we are.

People who write "u" instead of "you" always sound smart, don't they? What are the chances of not being a moron if you do that? Are they higher than, say, five percent?

And actually watched. Like A Charlie Brown Christmas with its runtime of twenty-five minutes is such an unlikely thing for someone to view. Because that doesn't happen. Hasn't been happening for sixty years now, millions and millions and millions of times over.

I had logged off all social media. This is just what I saw in ten seconds after logging back on and then logging out again. It's better for me when I don't see any of this, which is also practically all there is now as intelligence gets closer and closer to extinction. Not even intelligence. Non-imbecility.