I abjured you, pizza!

Tuesday 3/10/26

Whoa, what's going on here?

It was two years ago that I gave up pizza.

Why make a note of this? Why not? Have you tried to give up pizza?

The spur for this decision was a fellow at the Golden Goose, which sounds like the start of an enchanted tale, but as I've mentioned before merely pertains to the market around the corner from me.

This is the market where I acquire Swiss cheese, the only kind of cheese I will eat, because it's the rare cheese that is low in sodium. As a general rule, if cheese doesn't kill you, it's not because cheese wasn't trying, but rather that you got lucky.

At the Goose, you get slices of pizza at the same counter where you order the likes of Swiss cheese and various cold cuts. Also, assorted sandwiches, which bros in particular always order by saying, "Yeah, I'll do a..." before saying the name of their preferred, artery-clogging concoction, to be oft-followed with "Yeah...I'll do extra sauce, too."

That's right--you do that sauce, brother. Do it hard. Which is doing it right.

I was there on that day to acquire Swiss cheese, but the man behind the could greeted me with, "You want pizza?" because I was so prone to getting a couple of slices that he figured it was cool for him to be preemptive.

This understandably was cause for concern. Here was a man who knew me as a (the?) pizza person.

That can't be good, right? If he was to see me in the streets, that means he'd probably think, "Oh, that's the guy who gets all the pizza."

So that was it for me. Pizza abjured! It was over for good. Haven't touched the stuff since. On that same day, I also renounced bread, pasta, hot chocolate, chips, and red meat. The whole lot!

And not once have I strayed. When something here becomes policy, the plan is for it to always remain so.

Haven't been asked about pizza since.