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I am going to help you.

Saturday 8/6/22


"I just had a workout."

"I am going to work out."

That's how that works.

"I can't do this anymore."

"I can't eat any more apples."

That's how that works.

"I listen to Miles Davis every day."

"It's an everyday concern of mine."

That's how that works. (Buddy Holly got that one wrong.)

See the above and how the period is inside the parentheses? That's how that works!

"I should have eaten my apple."

The word is "have." Not "of." If you write "of," it will be impossible for anyone who is not a moron to take you seriously, and who would want that? And what can a moron take seriously anyway? Speaking of which:

"I don't care about her anyway."


"I don't care about her anyways."

Leave off that "s" for savings! What kind of savings? I don't know--those pertaining to your self-respect. Honor the teacher who taught you second grade grammar.

Here's a fun one most people can no longer do:

"I had an apple, and then an orange."

"I'd rather have an apple than an orange."

The word "than" exists!

"Outgoing" means you're gregarious. Social. "Out going" means you're leaving.

"Jack is an honest man," not "Jack is a honest man."

It's yea and nay. "Yeah" is a different word--you can hear it used repeatedly in the Beatles' "She Loves You" if you'd like to hear the difference.

"Yin and yang." "Ying" is the cousin of the bad guy in Flash Gordon.

Here's another:

"I would like to hang out with you."

"The outlaws met up at the old hangout."

And this is super tricky--so much so that I am not sure more than twenty people in the world know it, but you can!

"I gave Marge a compliment."

"Marge really complements my life."

They're different words! Wow, right?

If a number is less than 100, you write it out; if it's 100 or more, you don't. This is different with statistics in sports, but we'll leave that aside for now.

"I ate twenty-one apples."

"I have eaten 128 apples this year."

See how simple all of this is? And anyone can learn it!

On a related noted:

Any one of them will work for me.

For the Boston sports fan:

"Carlton Fisk was a great Red Sox."

"I don't like the Red Sox' chances this year."

Does that look funny? A little! But trust me, it's correct.

As it says in the Bible: the less of an idiot you are every day--not everyday--the closer you are to the kingdom of heaven.


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