I'm dating with intention

Sunday 5/4/25

I encounter all of these comments from people saying they're dating with intention. These are also really boasts (Query: when are we ever not boasting now? Query II: No one sees how ironic it is that people who do so little and are so little--in part because they try to become so little--boast so often?) and also lies after a fashion--lip service--because people lack for follow through.

But just saying something? Everyone can just say something. And they do. Their words are meaningless. Hardly anyone's words mean anything. When no one's words mean anything, there is nothing. There is no healthy community, no connection, no romance, no friendship.

You want a better world? Healthier people? Better government? You want connection? Purpose? You want to be less alone? Happy? Fulfilled?

That would all start with language. Communication. Being able to use words well. Being less of a moron. Trying. Not saying "literally" 800 times a day because you can't ever come close to saying what you want to say, and the longer that goes on, you don't even have things--as these sorts of felt flashes in your brain--you'd honestly wish to say anyway, because increasingly there's just nothing there.

What do you expect to happen then? Why would anything be good? Why would there be love, connection, purpose?

They are impossibilities when everything else I just mentioned is in place.

How are you even going to have a single real relationship of any sort, with any depth, if you and the other party can't communicate well?

It will never happen. Won't happen with your friend (who wouldn't be your friend--by which I mean, a real friend--in this case), your wife, your kid, your employee.

Maybe your dog.

Cool.

But there's something worse at play here to the perceptive person, which is basically no one, but let's make like perceptive people exist.

The statement, "I'm dating with intention" speaks to how truly ignorant and arrogant people now are. How lacking in self-awareness and narcissistic and self-congratulatory. How they're incapable of vetting anything honestly when it comes to themselves, but how they'll always give themselves the fullest of marks, because they are vapid, egocentric, unthinking liars.

If you're a person who can think logically, you should know where this is going and why. What's the problem with the above remark? What does it really say? What does it really reveal about the person who says it?

Intention is multi-fold. There are good intentions and bad intentions. Seems pretty basic, doesn't it?

How do humans most often act? With good intentions or bad intentions?

It's very plainly the latter. We are usually up to something. When was the last time you weren't? You were just being honest? No airs, no affectations, nothing performative. You weren't selfishly motivated, all about trying to get yourself to come off and be seen a certain way--even if you weren't that way at all--or trying to produce an outcome because that was best for you and that was the deciding--and only--factor?

We misrepresent ourselves deliberately all the time. What is social media? What is honest about social media? Who is honest--ever--on social media? Who isn't whoring and misrepresenting themselves, the state of their lives, and so many things, to get those likes?

Here's something I saw yesterday in reference to the Pope dying:

"I’m not Catholic I’m not even Christian But I’m sobbing in my living room right now"

You think that's remotely true? If it was, this would be a crazy person. Think she's crazy? Could be. Think she's a liar? Could be. Think she's an attention whore? Could be.

Think she's guaranteed to be one of these things or a combo?

Definitely.

Have a look at something like my Instagram. What do you see? It's someone sharing a lot of art, right? Why are they doing that? So you'll think they're smart? Smarter than other people? I need to prove nothing. I simply am. What that is becomes known to anyone who looks.

It's to share. To introduce people to things that they might check out--if there's anyone who is not a lazy clod who is open to learning a single damn thing in their lives, putting forth some effort, looking into that film, album, opera, book, which I know means a few dozen people in this world right now, but nonetheless. It's like a service. Not a big one. The art is the biggest one. This journal is another bigger one.

I don't do affectation, manipulation, false presentation. My intentions are always good. I'm never up to anything in the ill-doing sense of that phrase.

You have all of these people whose intentions are almost always impure. Who are almost always up to something in the ill-doing--or false, which, to me, is the same--sense of that phrase.

It then logically follows that when such a person says that they're dating intentionally, what that means is that they're up to no good. They're lying to get what they want--attention, some fillable holes, nights out away from the unfillable void so they don't have to have it staring them in the face, whatever it may be.

But that's not how they mean it, is it? Because these people who are almost always false, and who have bad intentions, are of course going to give them the fullest credit that they're great people doing the right thing.

So great as people that they don't even have to specify one way or the other by putting an adjective in front of a word like "intention." Because if intentions are on the table at all, they could only be the best of intentions, because it's them, the almighty them, the great and honorable and super duper them.

Do you understand how stupid you have to be to say this line and how up your own ass as well? How full of yourself? And why? Because you'd be a moron and not a good person. Because a good person would know everything I've just said here and have some humility. Also, you can't be a complete moron and be a good person. Because you need to have some understanding. Then you need to make good person choices in following from what you understand/know. However you know it. Intellectually, emotionally. Ideally in a combination of ways.

The reality is that people are doing almost everything with selfish intentions because they are only capable of caring about themselves, and not even really themselves, because if people truly cared about themselves, they'd try to be smarter, be less lazy, learn more, think more, act better, treat others better, look out for others, and no one, virtually, does that. But if they did, they could be happier, more fulfilled, society would be healthier, and the world would be a better place and that would benefit them, too.

The reason the world sucks isn't because of Trump or anything save just about each and every one of us and that rather than doing the things I just said, people do the opposites of those things. To their own detriment and increasing unhappiness and dehumanization and daily declining mental health.

Then they'll say things like, "Dating apps suck."

No. It's you. It's all of you. When everyone is this way, what good can come of anything between any two of those people? The problem isn't the platform. The platform is the scapegoat. The people are the problem. That's the issue.

You cannot rub two rocks together and get fire. Or wet sticks. Do the analogy as you prefer.

When people say that they're dating with intention, what they'll often mean is, "I hate myself, I am so lonely, I hate my life, I offer nothing, there's nothing I can be, I have no purpose, I can't find purpose, I won't look for purpose, because inside I'm akin to a 500-pound-person who won't ever get my ass or so much as try to lift a feather because I don't do thinking, effort, learning, nothing if I don't have to, and I don't want to be alone, I want what is essentially an arrangement where I don't need to love you because I am not capable of love, but we can breed, and I'll have purpose, something to do, and I'll feel less alone, and I'd like to make this happen as fast as possible. Really, I want to use you, use your life, your body, take advantage of the fact that you happen to be technically alive and achievable for me as something and someone to get, in order not to have to feel like I do, and I can lie to myself a different, more comforting way, and we'll call it love, and there will be a wedding and we'll get a lot of attention with that. We need to get those kids at the right time, because we'll be so sick of each other by then, and if we let it go too late, we'll split up and I'll be in the same boat as I am now, but if we have the kids in the proper window, we can each focus on them because they have to look up to us, we have the control over them, we're the boss, and we needn't have nearly as much to do with each other--thank God. Did I tell you I'm dating with intention? Because if I say something once, I definitely like to try and get more attention by saying it several thousand more times. Aren't I great? I'm so mature. Other people don't date with intention like I do. They're all about hook-ups. I'm too old for that. And believe me, I've already started whining and whining and whining about how old I am, and it's basically like I'm fifty years older than I actually am, and wait until later on, can you even imagine what I'll sound like, how I'll be, what my attitude will be like, in thirty years with me having already prematurely aged my body, my very soul--or that husk I have that passes for one--oh, look, let me write another letter with AI! Just so long as it's never me, never me, never me, never real, never real, never real, all fakery, and ignorance, and no truth ever--and sloughing off as much of my humanness as I already have.

But I'm dating with intention and you know that can only be the very best of intentions, because it's me, me, me, me, me, me! Hooray for stupid and empty me! I'm so great that nothing can make a dent in my narcissism. I wish there were more hours in the day to focus on my self that I actually hate so much. Me!