Thursday 6/29/23
As I was departing today to go to Charlestown to run stairs in the Monument, Facebook sent me one of those anniversary posts which I reposted that said that six years ago on this day I had done three circuits in the Monument, complete with photo of said obelisk.
This was both depressing and a testament to strength. When I did those circuits six years ago, it was so that I would be strong enough to keep going then I would be running stairs in Rockport, not here where I still am.
Nothing has changed save to get worse, in part because I have gotten better--I get better every day as an artist and a person--and that increases the hate and discrimination, which was already near total back in 2016. Though there are also many other factors, which are detailed in these pages. The things that must be overcome. Not the reasons for why they will always be this way. The listing and exegesis of the things that must be overcome.
On Monday and Tuesday I ran 5000 stairs at City Hall each day, the Monument being closed on these days. Then I did three circuits in the Monument yesterday and today. Two Monument anecdotes:
On Sunday, it was very humid. I exited the Monument looking like a river of sweat in human form, and as I walked past the line of tourists waiting to go up, a park ranger says, “Don’t be frightened, he does multiple laps.”
Then yesterday, I arrived after the Monument had opened and there was a line inside the small museum at the bottom. Ordinarily I won’t wait, but I had run thousands of stairs a day for eleven days and I didn’t want to break my streak. I was standing at the back and a park ranger was doing a little talk at the front. There are 294 stairs in the Monument he said. It’s ten stories high and 221 feet in altitude. He made a joke that it you visit Boston again you don’t have to climb it a second time, though we have a guy who comes every day for his workout. So I guess I feature in the pre-climb talk. I felt like Tom Sawyer at his own funeral, and just managed not to jump out of line and declare, “It is I, bitches!”
I wouldn't have run three circuits in the Monument back on this day in 2016 if I'd been drinking, so that's another indication that I've miscounted along the line and shortchanged myself what I estimate is four weeks, streak-wise. I'm almost certain I stopped drinking in May 2016. There is no way it was July. And I had obviously stopped if that was my Monument routine on this day six years ago. It's telling that I never had a day in my mind I circled. I preferred to count (albeit inaccurately). That way I was always active in achieving what I wanted to achieve. Each day mattered. And that is part of my belief with this war I am in. Each day matters. Each stair matters. Each story matters. Each piece. Each word. Each entry in these pages.
But whatever--it's my fault, so it won't be until this Sunday--if I make it--that I can say it's been seven years.
Don't assume the day--earn the day, in whatever you're doing. As a writer, a firefighter, a baker, a teacher, a learner, a grower, a human. Go out and earn the day. Always earn it. Don't assume it, don't wait to be handed it. Earn it.
It's muggy, but I'm getting a little bit of my Monument form back. I have also not missed a single day with my push-ups since I corrected my form back in April.
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