More quit than fight redressed: Stairs, the shrieking gulls, answering
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Wednesday 4/1/26
I've shown more quit than fight of late--by my standards--so am trying to force myself to redress and reverse that, because I'm in trouble if this is the case and have even less of a chance with everything (or anything) than the total absence of so much as a scintilla of chance that may always be my reality in this world, which one can say doesn't make sense because zero is zero, but which one perhaps wouldn't say even if one was living through this worse-than-hell that is my life and was possessed of this mind and character. I still need to answer to myself, even if I'm totally fucked and I'm here to suffer and nothing else. I still must answer to me. And that means that I need to try. I need to fight.
This includes physically. No, not street corner brawls. But it does mean getting the blood going and not giving in and trying to make sure that my heart is strong so that I can physically endure everything else.
I twelve circuits in the Monument on Thursday and walked three miles and did 100 push-ups. Followed that up by running six circuits and walking six miles and doing 100 push-ups on Friday. Saturday I ran seven circuits, walked six miles, and did 100 push-ups.
Why these odd numbers instead of the usual amounts evenly divisible by five? I'm trying to fast track a return to where I was before the snow closures, so if I tack on an extra one or two circuits, then before long I have another set of five, which is the standard Monument circuit of measurement--that is, if you run five circuits, you've had a good workout--and it's like I'm gaining another day's worth without that day having to exist.
Sunday marked 3542 days, or 506 weeks, without a drink.
No stair running on Sunday or Monday. The Monument was closed yesterday, but I took myself to the City Hall stairs before five in the morning and ran 6000 of them. The weather was warmer (it had been twenty-seven degrees on Sunday morning, I believe) and I got a prodigious sweat going. Soaked through my sweatshirt, and about a foot's worth of my sweatpants were soaked through as well. The only sound besides my breathing and footfalls came from the shrieking gulls circling high over Faneuil Hall and the Custom House.
Sneakers need to be thrown away soon. They have expanding holes in the sides. Been trying to make them last as long as possible like I always do to save money. Was achy after my workout on Saturday and this may have something to do with the state of my footwear. The tops of my feet ached and I might not be getting the support I need. But it could also be all that I'm doing and that I'm for all intents and purposes in the spring training part of my workout season, though of course I don't have an off-season.
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