Tuesday 10/12/21
I could put up a dozen of these a week. There's a pattern with many of these women, because they're the same person, in essence. You get this with the ones who have advanced degrees. They're insecure. They know that they don't know anything. Intelligence is cosmetic to them; that is, they pretend to have it. These people are always passive aggressive. They're alone, and they don't want to be alone, but they also don't want to not be alone, if you follow me. They self-sabotage. Then they use their "skills" for rationalization to blame someone else.
That's the way they utilize language--not to move them closer to the truth, but to get further away from it, and call that process the truth. A plumbing of truth. Their limited verbal skills are nonetheless stronger than most people's (a case of being alone, not fitting in, and reading a l lot because what else was there to do?), which is depressing, of course. Those skills, as such, are put forward in the making of the lies which they'll try to believe. These women all take the exact same course with me. They try to ingratiate themselves, but they do so passively aggressively. Half in, half out. They're toxic. People you should have nothing to do with. What they like to do is this thing about "vocab" words, where they tell me that no one can understand my profile, because of the so-called vocab words. Which is ignorant, inane, and just wrong. And it's not even something they really mean. But that's not the point. Passive aggressiveness is the point. That's the only way they can try to engage with someone they know is on a completely different level. I know what they're going to say before they say it.
If you write well, people will know what something means--you'll reach them--even if they don't know a particular word in isolation, because the context makes the meaning anyway. The relational quality--the byplay--of the words. Someone can see a word they've never seen and they'll know what it means in the sentence. Again, if you write well. Not if you're a publishing person consulting your thesaurus because you're a broken, insecure freak and that's how you try to build self-esteem. Obviously that's not me. So they've insulted me, really, by saying that other people don't get what I've written, which is actually quite simple. They've also predicted--again, it's all passive aggressive--a kind of dating doom for me. Like there's no one who would either read what I've written, precisely because I've written a whole "novel"--which really means 200 words--and then they double doom me with the implication that no one would understand it if they did read it. But they get it!
See what they did there? They've insulted me, and complimented themselves. They've also tried to get in with me, as it were, and this is how they establish connection, and they're so bad at social interaction, and so lost to the world and themselves, that here's how they go about it. Sad, really. But these are also people who are a form of cancer incarnate. They'll fuck up whatever they can in your life, if you give them an inch to go about what they can only and ever go about doing. They're "bad news." I know their kind of bad news from 100 miles off. It's funny to me that they could never know this, or understand it. I know exactly what you're up to if you're someone like this--male or female, romance or not--and I know it from the first clause.
Honestly, I've seen this I'd say 5000 times. It's the exact same kind of person. And this person is sufficiently dumb, misguided, broken, alone, "all done" in the grand scheme of life, that they think it makes you smart if you say things others can't understand, which is really closer to the opposite of intelligence, or great intelligence--great intelligence reaches, connects. They have no capacity for wonder. They're dead. They're just out there with a pulse, like zombies, and they take a bite out of someone like me if they can.
I give the same response to each of these people every time, because I know what they're all about, and I know what they want, They want to spread their dysfunction. They want to get in another life and make problems in it. Because that's all they can do. That's what they exist for. They could never exist for anything else, never be about anything else. They talk the same, they take the same approach, they even use the same words. Often, it's verbatim.
