OT for Other Things

Friday 1/9/26

I don't believe that people are capable any longer of being organically interested in someone else.

I don't think fascination exists where we might look at someone, see what they do, who they are, observe them, and be increasingly interested, drawn to them, wish to know them.

I think it's other things. Usually things a person wants/has to have that have nothing to do with a specific other person.

I know a woman who got divorced. She then had to move in with her parents with her kids. She doesn't like her parents much. Not because they do anything to her, but they don't offer her anything. Her mother needs a lot of care. The woman didn't want to be in this situation. She went looking for a way to get out of it.

This meant approaching one of her brother's friends from high school. Shlub-y guy she'd known for years and had no interest in back then--wouldn't have looked twice at him--and had no interest in after she moved in with her parents. Type of guy who is happy to be there; that is, if someone more attractive than himself would take him, he'd definitely be up for that. The woman isn't dumb. She's manipulative, but not stupid. She's actually quite intelligent. She can't work any longer because of a health issue. The guy is a man-child stump. She moves in with him. Boom, brand new daddy for the kid. He had a function for her, that's all he was. A stepping stone that was also a landing spot. Variations on this theme are common.

I know another woman who got divorced. She lived with her mom. I don't think she works. She doesn't say much. Most of it is on the surface. Lots of exclamation points, though. Generalities. Banalities. Nice. Also isn't dumb. But that's just what I've learned, not so much because of anything she's ever conveyed. I can tell there isn't just a dumb person in there, even if little intelligence is ever actually displayed. It's held back. Almost all of her is held back by her. She lives outwardly with one percent of herself. The rest remains within walls.

Her mom starts "dating"--as in living with--this woman's ex-husband. How's that for messed up? They all live in the house essentially. Woman wants to leave the house. Finds someone amenable to doing the relationship thing and living together. Port in a storm. Probably calls this love. I don't ask. Told me she was going over mom's to make food for mom and mom's boyfriend, that is, her ex-husband.

What kind of mother/monster does that to their kid anyway? I'm going to date your ex-husband? And he's going to live with us.

There is very little love in the world. There is very little that is what it purports to be in the world, or what people want it to be, or present it as, hoping it will be seen that way. There is very little in the world that is real.

Other things.

Two key words I keep saying here. Other things. Not the actual purported things or the things that that thing ought to be.

I see a lot of post from teachers on Reddit about their experiences in educating the youth of America. So many of these teachers have no idea how "then" and "than" work, or "everyday" and "every day" (or that "every day" is even a thing), or "a" and "an," or that it's not "anyway." They sound uneducated and often borderline illiterate themselves.

Am I not supposed to notice this and think it's a bad thing? Does that make me cruel to teachers? Shouldn't teachers know the basic rudiments of language? Shouldn't they be educated? I'm not saying they're the biggest problem here.

The parents are often a bigger problem. What goes on in the home. The child brings the culture of the home to school. Parents are the first teachers and instillers. Often. Mine weren't for me. The world was. My mind was. But I am me and not others and others are not like myself. Does the parent read to the child, or does the parent hand the child a device to be "babysat" that way?

Bad parenting tells a lot of the story of the current world and the current United States. Parents tend to do so much harm. Which is ironic, because most of them--especially mothers--will say this is the point of their lives, their purpose, do the mama bear thing.

But you know what that's usually more about?

Other things.