Request for hours

Wednesday 3/11/26

Presently I've made a request of myself for hours. To put in hours. The time. To keep moving and doing things that contribute to what I'm trying to do for hours. Lately I've just been killing hours. I haven't been alive. I've been giving in, not fighting, which is forcing myself to try. To keep trying. So that is my plan right now. Not working from lists of what needs doing. But to be moving again. To be using the hours.

It was what I would call unseasonably warm here in Boston yesterday. Too warm for my liking. The temperature must have been up around seventy. There's a seventy-five percent chance of snow tomorrow.

I sat by the water for a while and did some background stuff for my "Dark Star" book which wasn't that involved. So many people were outside. You see all these people whom you wouldn't see if it were cold, who haven't been outside, you suspect, any more than they've had to be outside for the last several months. More runners than usual--by a lot--as well. Like 1000% more, which is a little strange to me. After all, when you run, even when it's cold, you warm up fast, so would cold me that much of a deterrent?

I only lasted so long by the water. Everyone around me was saying "literally." You can't get away from it. A chorus of idiots. Literally, literally, literally. Every single person who talks, as if they can't talk without it. Without saying it nearly every sentence.

We are so fucking stupid.

"He literally said."

"I literally walked the dog."

"It's literally my brother's birthday."

What do you think that word is doing for you? What do you think it changes? It just means that you're an idiot. You're telling a non-idiot that you are an idiot. That's all it does for you, if you want to call it that. It means that you're a moron, and you're such a moron that you can't even understand you're a moron, no matter how obvious that should be if...well, you see how this goes.

My bad. How this literally goes. I'm literally doing laundry this morning. I literally have a cup of coffee on the desk. I literally did push-ups in the hall. I literally got sunflowers the other day. It's literally dark out still.

I don't like warm days, of course. The summer. The worst time of the year for me. I'd probably feel differently about that season if I was back in my house in Rockport but I'm not so I don't.

May be able to wear shorts with a sweatshirt to the Monument today. It'll be nicer to run the stairs without having sweatpants on. The extra clothing weighs on you.

My workout sneakers have holes in them and are caked with road salt. They're stiff when I put them on because of the salt and then loosen up with movement and moisture. I'm trying to make them last until the salt is gone from the roads.

Watched 1986's April Fool's Day this morning, which I may write about.

Many recordings that are in truth stage recordings are called audience recordings; anything that's not a soundboard recording is usually called an audience recording, actually, which is inaccurate. Having microphones set up on stage is different than being out there in the crowd with recording equipment.

The Celtics lost last night to the Spurs. He was ejected, but all the same, Jaylen Brown failed to come close to his season scoring average for the third time in the three games since Jayson Tatum's return, which was my concern as I said.

Bam Adebayo had 83 points last night. A guy who averages less than 19 points a game, whose season high was 31 points. Team scored 150 in regulation. It's a silly league. Like everything in life now, basketball has gotten worse. Does anyone with a clue really take that performance seriously as this all-timer of a thing? It's a result of the daft manner in which the game is played. And how this is such a rope-y sport now. He probably won't for for more than 31 points again this season. Odds are, right?

He's a strong defender, but come on. And it's not some aberration either. Like, wow, a legit career night, because it's a result of this other stuff. That doesn't happen in a sport like basketball. If you go off for an insane number of points, it'll be because you're that kind of player, unless things are fishy. It's not like baseball, where a bad pitcher can have a day where he's the most dominant hurler every to take the mound, pretty much. Kobe Bryant's 81-point game was artificially inflated, but this was something beyond that.

Bruins won. Points are precious.

Created a new folder for my spring 2026 writings. Ported over the works from the winter that remain ongoing. Didn't have much productivity to show for the winter. Decided to just get started on spring. I don't wait until the official start days. For fall, for instance, I'll create the new folder on September 1. Winter ends up being the shortest period, I think, because I start with that season on January 1 to have a break with the old year.

My niece Lilah was home sick from school on Monday but I checked yesterday and she was feeling better and had gone back. The daughter of that person I know who I had written the letters to has come home from her treatment program. I haven't talked to the person, just got a text.

When I don't click on texts I find that AI has left a summary for me. Good God this world. Summaries for texts now. We barely even need to be born with a brain now. Where does it end? Back into the ooze? The return trip to the beach and back into the water for good. Five AI bots are combing this journal right now as I type these very words.