Sunday 7/28/24
I'm getting this Tdap vaccine tomorrow. I'm overdue. I don't need the lockjaw. Is that what you get when you're pricked by the rusty nail? Whatever it is, I don't need it. I have enough to deal with.
They give you these options for these other vaccines. I saw COVID, and figured, "Okay, might as well get that." I mentioned this to my mother, and she said don't get it, get the new one in the fall, or words to that effect.
I thought, fine, I was just throwing in the COVID vaccine given that I'll be at the pharmacy anyway, so I cancelled the visit and booked another with just the Tdap. My mom had said, "You probably got a COVID one last fall."
I didn't. Or I'm pretty sure I didn't. And because I'd have to go back separately for a COVID vaccine, there's a better chance I won't get it this autumn. Ironically. As I've said, I don't believe in COVID--for me personally. I believe in running stairs. I have no idea if I've ever had COVID or if I've had it ten times. I really don't care. I never cared. When COVID began, I changed nothing. I went out and did what I did. Ran my stairs.
But I'm at the pharmacy anyway, I'll take whatever you got. I have no qualms about that.
So here we have someone who doesn't care about COVID, doesn't believe in it personally, but who'll take a vaccine, because why not?
I know what some people would want to answer: "Because it causes heart attacks!" I'll be fine. For all of my fears pertaining to doctors and hospitals and basic medical things that present no problem for anyone else--and which I really do need to get over, or at least better with--I trust whatever, vaccine-wise. If I'm there and it's free, I'll take it.
I saw there was a pneumonia shot. I very much believe in pneumonia. I'm not getting that, though. I remarked yesterday that I believe I would have died in my forties if I hadn't stopped drinking, and if I hadn't stopped drinking in spring 2016, I very well could have died when I had the pneumonia in August of that year. I'm not sure I would have pulled through, heart-wise, with my temperature going to 107, as it did. Timing.
You'll see all of these dumb people on dating sites who can say nothing of any substance or intelligence, but they'll use the seven words that they do write to tell you either to 1. Fuck off if you've gotten a vaccine or 2. Fuck off if you haven't gotten them.
People are so simple. I swear, I could just look at 100 people and correctly tell you who was a liberal and who was a conservative. They're like cartoon characters of the broadest strokes.
But consider that: I won't know you because of this silly thing. It's hard enough. I could see cases for both. I'm a pretty good case for both. I both could easily not get these vaccines or get them. But not because I think I'll be struck down on account of some vaccine cocktail or because I think they're essential for me.
I can control my fitness. It is I who decides if I will run stairs in the Monument in a few hours today. I have agency in this matter. I choose to use that agency. I'm both taking care and taking care of something. I can also read and process information. I can be informed and proceed accordingly.
I also understand the role the mind plays with physical wellness. My body takes part of its cue from my mind. That's part of the reason why I don't get sick very often and why I recover as quickly as I do.
When I had the pneumonia, people delighted in telling me I'd feel the effects for months and months. I thought, "Fuck that, that's not happening here."
I gave myself a deadline--that I would be back to myself and also working out in no longer than two weeks. I applied my mental energy to those ends.
And exactly two weeks later, there I was. It took me a little bit to get back to my prior level--that was the most physical pain I had ever been in, and though I didn't stay at the hospital, I did have to go twice--but that was a matter of days.
Those other people who said what they did about requiring months and months and how they've never been the same, helped bring that on with their minds, their mental state, in my view. The body takes a cue from the mind. That doesn't mean you can just "think things away." But I still believe that the mind is very important and influential in these matters.
I understand that others perhaps wouldn't. But this has been my experience.
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