Wednesday 6/12/24
Dating sites are horrible. The world is horrible and people are horrible, and it's all getting worse. Sometimes people will talk about dating sites as though they're a special kind of horrible. They're not. They're an accurate cross section of the world. You're just getting the world on a smaller scale.
In theory, it ought to be easier for people to connect than ever before. Well, in theory in one regard. By connect, I mean in just about any way. For an exchange, a passing acquaintance, a friendship, something more, something else.
Most people could, if they wished, reach out to someone and say something. That's the nature of the internet. Today, for instance, I told a stranger that I liked their outdoor and floral photography. It was a pretty simple thing. I thought this thing, I thought maybe they'd like to hear that from someone, and it seemed like a nice and easy thing to do. It was.
I don't think we do a lot of that, though. People lie so much on social media. It's like everyone is invested in a pose. Then you have to maintain the pose. We're more disconnected than ever. The pose is part of it. When we insist on maintaining poses, we often have to utilize distance, or else we'll be "found out."
Many women on dating sites have a blank profile, where it's just their photos. They don't write anything in the bio section, they don't make use of any of the prompts. Just photos. I'm sure men do this, too. But I don't look at those profiles. And no one needs to convince me how much men can suck.
There are a number of things I think when I see a blank profile from a woman, which I'm sure would enrage some people, completely logical as these things are to think. They would enrage people who either do the same thing or are inclined to be the same way.
I'm not saying that what I think is accurate every time; what I'm saying is that this is how the blank profile comes off and how ineffective it is, and how it works against the person using it, ironically.
First of all, I will think the person is lazy. If you couldn't write ten words--or any--you are a person I believe makes no effort. I don't think people are like, "I make effort here, but not here." People who are not lazy tend to be people who are not lazy in whatever they're doing.
Secondly, I think they're stupid. You couldn't think of a single thing to say, let alone anything intelligent? I think you'd have to be stupid to believe that if you're looking for someone to have in your life, or be with, or perhaps be with for the rest of your life, that you wouldn't even want to say something about who you are, what you're looking for, or give a sense of your personality, and leave it up to photos. Your body. Your smile. Whatever it may be. I think you'd have to be stupid not to realize that by not saying anything you'd be of no interest to the few people of substance and intelligence.
I think you're entitled. "I don't even need to say anything. People should just automatically want to be with me. Because I am here." Which is also why I think you're arrogant.
I think you do a poor job overseeing your life. Now you have all of these brainless losers who just want to fuck you contacting you for that or not much more. I think you're insecure, because hearing from many losers makes you feel good, though none of it leads to anything good. You could meet people, make friends, have healthier relationships, but you can't say a single thing. Or you can and you won't. Because each day when you get up, there are 200 "likes" awaiting you, and that is made to fill some void. So I think you're mentally ill, broken, and your own worst enemy.
I think you're hypocritical. You'll think things about equality, but you want someone--the guy--to come to you and do all of the conversational work. But what can someone even say? And we come back to the idea of how stupid such a person is, because this is such a poor, counterintuitive way to try and bring about what one theoretically wants to bring about.
What could a person say to you with your blank profile? Something about your looks? That's potentially objectifying. Do you want to be objectified? They could say a token, "What's up?" What's the point? What would you say in response? "Not much. You?" That would then be the end of the "conversation." Because one person set things up to be this way. Do you expect someone to come alone with some line of substance and/or wit because...why? You had photos? You're not fat and many are? I should say, though, that all types and sorts do the blank profile thing. And I'll think these things about each of them.
How long does it take to say a few lines? A minute? So what you're saying--by not saying anything--is that meeting someone great, or not being alone, or becoming happier, or having a new friend, isn't worth a minute of your time?
What kind of attitude is that? This doesn't say a lot about a person? All someone else needs to know?
I do leave things somewhat open, though. Maybe there's some exceptional mitigating factor. But then you better have something ready to say, and it has to have some point and depth and individuality to it. Let's say someone had a photo that was of a nature that invited a comment. For instance, I saw a woman playing a banjo. Not a lot of banjo players. One might say something about this, regardless of the profile being blank. But if that happens, and that person still isn't ready to go--and they never are--then it's hard to feel bad for people getting wine drunk yet again and talking to their cats.
People will put up photos when they create a profile--because those are the site's or app's rules--thinking they'll come back and add text later--and again, considering it takes a minute to do so, they're lazy if that then becomes work that has to be saved for the future--but then they get all of the likes from all of the dumb guys who do see women as objects most of the time, which is encouraged, ironically, when people just put the physical out there which is what they do when it's photos and nothing else. They like the attention (people in our age are desperate for attention, and their pursuit of it causes them to die more each day inside), they think they're getting all of these people who want to be with them anyway, and turns out they don't have to write anything. Thus, they stay alone and they will die alone.
Let me qualify that last bit: At some point they may just pick someone to be with, or settle, so they can tell themselves they're not dying alone, or while there's enough time to still reproduce so that kids will make them less alone or give them the purpose they don't have and have never had, but this is still dying alone in a real sense, just with people in proximity.
Because it all starts from within, doesn't it? And it's all comes back to it, too.
Or you could just say something. Or even--and this is a radical thought--something intelligent.
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