It wasn't me

Sunday 12/22/23

Had to go back to the Apple store yesterday where a kindly, knowledgeable woman helped me out. They send you a form after asking how your experience was and to rate the person who helped you and I always do this and provide glowing comments. I am uncomfortable with things of this nature--computers, technology, going to such a store--and I realize that I have to get better--if I had the life I wanted to right now, in the place/places I want to be living, I'd need the appropriate technological set-ups to enjoy my music and films as I wish to--but there is an anxiety factor for me right now certainly and hesitation and fear so I am greatly appreciative of the expertise and the kind bedside manner and I let this be known.

I will say that it's kind of hard to make a reservation at the Genius Bar but I have figured out the trick to doing it. Often, when you describe your problem you don't get the option to make an appointment but rather you're provided with these prompts to more or less fix it yourself or speak to someone over text but the problems I've had could not be remedied that way.

The Bruins squeaked past an embarrassing Buffalo Sabres squad last night. That's how these Bruins are--they only beat bad teams and similarly mediocre teams (some nights). Good teams stomp them. The better goaltender was in net, which may have been the difference.

I recall someone saying that there aren't twelve teams deserving to be in the college football playoff and what you were going to get would be a lot of bad games. Four games so far and not a single one was competitive and two were outright blowouts while the two others might well have been. You will have two more blowouts in the quarterfinals--and perhaps three, though that might just be a two-score loss--and perhaps one close game. Doesn't it seem like just about every top team didn't beat anybody? How is that possible? But a team will be at the top of the rankings and they'll have one or no wins versus ranked teams and/or they'l be 2-1 against bowl-eligible teams. Does everyone just beat bad and mediocre teams?

Jayson Tatum with is best game of the year. The narrative is shaping up to push him into an MVP being on a team mounting a title defense and after the Steve Kerr Olympic thing. You knew it would go this way so long as Tatum was what he usually is. He didn't need to be any better.

I was very surprised to see that Rickey Henderson died at sixty-five, just a few days short of his birthday on Christmas. What you will read about Henderson is going to be the same tripe from everyone: He was so quirky! He referred to himself in the third person!

Stupid. I'll put something up later that has something completely different to say about who he was as a player. I was taken aback by his death because he was always in phenomenal shape and anytime Henderson was at some event people would make remarks about how he looks like he could still suit up for a team, so to learn that he died at such a young age--especially these days--wasn't something I saw coming at all.

I believe the cause of death was pneumonia and that hit home with me, too, given what I experienced with pneumonia in August 2016. I didn't think this at the time, but I am fairly certain now that if I'd not stopped drinking in the spring and had been drinking as I was when I got pneumonia that I would have died. Or at least it would have been worse, and I'm not sure how much worse it could have been if I was going to pull through. I'm not saying Rickey Henderson did anything but take care of himself. I have no idea. I just know what pneumonia can be like. I don't know. Even while I was drinking, I was strong, but my heart was weakened. Compromised.

As anyone who reads these pages knows--or anyone who knows me knows--I don't get sick for the most part. Or, I may get sick but what would have someone else in bed is barely a thing to me. I was so serious about learning when I was in school as a kid that I went something like five years without missing a single day. I'd just go, no matter what. No one forced me to. But I wasn't going to miss school. That was me in fifth grade, eighth grade. I was in significant pain for two straight weeks in August 2016. Had the temperature of 107 at one point--and I'm normally below 98 degrees--and went to the hospital twice. If I had that irregular heartbeat still and was not clear of the effects of alcohol I'm not sure what might have happened.

I think it reflects poorly on someone--I think it suggests that they're an asshole--when someone bestows some kindness on them, which they don't have to do, by, say, reaching out and offering words of support and counsel--I don't mean that false positivity mongering we've been talking about of late, but well-considered valuable words, without ulterior motive--and they respond with an emoji--a smile face or a thumb's up--or a "ty."

Someone took the time and energy to try to help you. When that person is basically soliciting help or making this point to say how lost they are, how much they're hurting, they don't know what to do, etc. I actually reach out to a lot of people. I don't know these people. I feel for them, and I have things that may help. Men, women, people of all ages. What you usually end up seeing is that person is just a narcissist who--and I'm not not trying to be cruel here--kind of deserves what they got. Or, if they don't deserve it, they're not a good person all the same. Sometimes it will be people expressing their pain--or their alleged pain--over how alone they are, how they have no one, no one to care about them, etc. And they'll send that "ty." Maybe you deserve what you got? That's often what I end up thinking. And also that people are typically helpless when it comes to getting out of their own way.

"Be the woman who fixes another woman's crown without letting anyone else know it was crooked."

What the hell is wrong with everyone? Why are people so fucking childish?

Listened to the BBC's radio production of A Christmas Carol with Ralph Richardson which aired on Christmas day 1965, was rebroadcast on 12/20 in 1974, then aired again on Boxing Day 1993.

This is amusing. My mother was babysitting my nephew and nieces Friday night. There was a mess on the ground--courtesy of Amelia, my buddy--and my mother said, hey, clean this up, and Amelia--with her brother and sister right there, both knowing she was the guilty party--said what she always says when she's done something: "It wasn't me."

So my mom goes, "Who was it, then?" and without hesitation, Amelia responded, "The ghost girl." She didn't say Little Ghost Girl, but close enough. My mom goes on to say that Colin hasn't seen the Little Ghost Girl in a while, could it be that she's taken a trip to Illinois, and Amelia said, "Yes." Of course, a couple minutes later in the kitchen, Amelia asked my mom, "She's not real, is she?" This anecdote made me smile. The LGG and I are at work on something, actually.

I walked back from the Apple store yesterday, passing through the snow-blanketed Public Garden and the Common, both of which looked beautiful. The Christmas tree from Nova Scotia in the Common was particularly striking with the snow about it.