Monday 12/4/23
Encountered this this morning via a dating profile. It's the kind of thing I come across regularly:
"I'm a real woman (not a bikini model)."
Bikini models aren't real women? That's nice.
It takes so few words from most people to know all that one would need to know about them.
One often discerns an underlying hostility for the very concept of being fit with people who are not.
They become cross, defensive, and overcompensatory, but on their own. That is, they're not responding to someone but rather putting those words and emotions out there unprovoked. At least not directly. I understand the residual impact of experience.
As with so many things, stairs would work well as a healthy alternative, outlet, and counter-effect, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Run stairs. A half hour of stairs every day, and one is changed. I don't believe you couldn't be.
I just learned there's a film called Real Women Have Curves. There needs to be an illustration for these entries and you end up encountering things you might not have in searching for what might be used.
How is that not offensive? You're dehumanizing people. You're not a real person because you're in good shape? What kind of thinking is this?
I just think that's a poor attitude to have. And a passive aggressive one.
In life, we should always be working on ourselves. And hoping that others work on themselves. In every way in which we can work on ourselves. I think you should honestly try to do your best in all of the ways of being alive. We can't always be trying our best. There's a lot that can get away. Not so much time--an invented absence of which is usually scapegoated by most people for why they aren't doing something--as where we are at internally and internal factors.
But we should plan to eventually be able to do our best in all areas. That ought to be the goal. In time. Over time. We do our best with as much as we can right now, and we'll get to the rest of it. And we are serious about getting the rest of it. We're mindful of what those other things are. We don't lose sight of them. When we're able, we're able. When we are able to become able, we move and succeed. Being able to do something and then doing it is a process. Sometimes, we ramp up to able. Often.
Attitude is one of those ways we should be working on ourselves. I don't mean this nonsense about declaring in some empty-headed, "power of positive thinking" way that "Everything is awesome!" or "If I think things are awesome and will go awesomely that's how it will all be!"
Deal in the reality. I say what this situation is that I am in. Why it exists. What is happening. Spelling that out as clearly as possible is vital in what will be my ultimate success. I don't give in to anything or anyone. I don't give in to despair. To pain. Right now, it is not yet four in the morning on a Monday. I have been at it for two hours. Today will be horrible. No matter what I do and how well I do it. I know that. That's how it is right now. But I don't relent, I don't wither. Were you to phone me right now you would hear energy and strength in my voice. You would hear abounding life.
But as for getting away with what one says when it comes to dehumanizing others, I also don't know how a president was able to skate after saying that people aren't really African American if they don't vote for him. That blows my mind that you can say that and people are like, "Eh, it's fine."
Especially when there are so many benign remarks that produce problems and inflame the mob. Granted, the thing about a mob is its constituents couldn't care less about what they're pretending to be upset about than anyone out there. That's not why people join mobs. They have nothing to do with justice and everything to do with the many personal failings and shortcomings of the person who takes up their pitchfork, be it real or digital.
The other day I was reading about this guy who got in all sorts of trouble because he called a woman buddy. I call my three-year-old niece buddy. In my life, it's a term I've generally used for people I like. Yes, everything is coded. It has a specific meaning to me. My father called my sisters and I buddy. It would never enter my mind that this was some gender-specific term. A buddy is a good thing. It's a special kind of friend. There's a warmth built into the term. An extra warmth, if you wish.
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