top of page

Start of the year effort

Wednesday 1/3/24

At the start of each year, you'll see people make a tiny bit more effort with something than usual, but they are going to give up in even doing that much very quickly--say, by January 3 or 4. For instance, with romance.

For a few days, people try harder to meet someone. They don't actually really try, though. What's trying with something like online dating? Saying words. Not being a narcissist. Reading a profile.

They're not going to do that. They're just going to log on a bit more, and do some swiping.

There are regularly people that I "meet," in that they're there, having swiped in my favor, you might say, but I do notice this upturn of activity at the start of each year.

For instance, yesterday there was a woman who was twenty-six, another who was thirty-five, and another who was forty-one. They were all very attractive.

Unfortunately, I'm not going to be interested in knowing anyone who doesn't have something to say, let alone something intelligent to say. Someone who doesn't exhibit--from the outset--at least a modicum of thoughtfulness.

In this context, I don't care how "hot" you might be. If that person has nothing to say, it's just done, boom, erased, not interested.

I've also noticed that in society, in the world, having anything to say--I don't mean anything intelligent--is now a great rarity and a novelty. Repeating what is said by many is not having something to say. I mean having something to say as the person you are.

People are so invested in themselves to the detriment of themselves--they cost themselves much. They are invested in themselves in the sense of a kind of self-ogling, a self-stasis of noting things like "That person complimented me, that's ninety-seven compliments this week, good for you"--ogle, ogle--or "You are above them because they complimented you and you didn't compliment them," rather than the growth or improvement of themselves.

It's self-staring for the sake of staring; not to figure out what might be tweaked, or how to advance, be less alone, how to be happier, etc. That staring usurps the space and time that could be used for other, better things, which that person would actually much rather have and experience.

It is a dreadful irony.

Narcissism makes me think of someone who never gives up the ball in basketball or the puck in hockey. The so-called ball hog or puck hog. It's a bad time. It's a lot less fun. And I bet it is for that person, too.

But when you have a game where people are playing the right way, head-manning the puck, moving the ball to the open shooter, it's such a better time, right? For all participants. Like in pick-up games. You feel connected, even. Go home with a nice feeling. And I think that's true for everyone who plays a game that way.


Commenting has been turned off.
bottom of page