Monday 7/18/22
And little else. That's just true. There is a societal expectation, though, that you will pretend otherwise. Or should get yourself to believe otherwise. If you can't, you're the problem. You're supposed to keep your trap shut, or else you are a villain. People who are idiots can say, "Let people like what they like!" and "How are they hurting you!" I look at humanity this way. Let's say you were on a hockey team. You tried to do your best as a hockey player. To be the best player you could be individually, and in helping the team. You took care of yourself, worked hard, tried to grow your game. Gave a full, honest effort every time out. You didn't always win, and sometimes you were embarrassed--beat pretty good--but you put forth the best you had on that day, then you kept working so you'd be better next time.
But everyone else on your team is out of shape. They don't take care of themselves. These fat loads. They practice in a half-assed fashion at best. They stay out all night, then turn up hung over for the games. The team is terrible. There's little chance of winning. And there you are. You're supposed to think that everyone is doing what they should be doing? And that it doesn't affect you? What could affect you more than these other people and the choices they're making? You're not supposed to say anything? Or you're the bad guy? You just accept that this is how it is, and that means how it is going to be for you, as you do the right thing?
That's how I look at humanity. We are on the same team. We're teammates. Players don't choose to be teammates. Trades are made. A free agent signs with the club. When you're a kid, where you live determines the team you're on. But people in life are teammates, after a fashion, whether they wish to be or not.
I only see idiocy. Some recent examples. Insight into how nearly everyone is.
Over the weekend I became a member of a Facebook group on the history and culture of Salem, Massachusetts. I lasted about two hours before I opted out and blocked the page from coming up again. I had hoped that I'd see exchanges about literature pertaining to Salem, and the witch trials. The Peabody Essex Museum and thoughts on recent visits and exhibitions. Information about the architecture, accounts from people of the home from 1765 that they were restoring. All there was were posts like this, though:
We r coming to Salem in September were is good place to eat
And so I was done.
I belong to a Facebook group theoretically devoted to the ghost stories of M.R. James. I didn't expect--because people are idiots--but I had hopes to see discussions about his stories. Information about his life. Photos from places where he'd been or had something to do with him. Instead, what you get is someone posting a photo of their black cat, having gotten some flour on its head, and captions like "Is my cat posesed lol"
But that's good. You're supposed to pretend everything is good. Let people enjoy what they enjoy, but God help you if you're not an idiot, though truthfully God has hung you out to dry.
On a dating site where simple, dumb women all say the same thing--as I'm sure the men do, though I don't look at them--there's a prompt asking you to share what your perfect date would be. The dumb, simple women all answer the same way. They tell you there is no such thing as perfect, because not a single one of them is smart enough--and you need not be smart at all to understand this--to grasp how a "your" works. In this context, it means "perfect to you or for you" which is, of course, different than actually perfect. In tens of thousands of profiles, I've never seen a woman smart enough to understand this. A parade of idiots, a hundred miles long. If you said to these same people, "What is your perfect meal?" or "What is your perfect day?" none of them would say, "There is no perfect meal!" or "There is no perfect day!" They could answer that. They would answer that. It also shows you how angry they are, that they can't answer this other question, or understand it. How they can't disassociate from their pasts, and being hurt. The baggage and the projection. How the baggage warps their brains so that they can't understand the simplest thing possible, if any emotion is involved. But I think it'd be the same without emotion.
Sports groups are the same. Last night, in a hockey history group, someone posted a photo of the Edmonton Oilers celebrating after having won the Stanley Cup at the end of the 1987-88 season. Someone then decides to comment by saying that Wayne Gretzky was traded after that Cup run, and the Oilers would win the Cup again in 1990 without him. Why the fuck would you say this? What do you think you're doing? Do you believe you're intelligent? Insightful? This is news to people? It was a secret all this time and you've uncovered it and are sharing it now? So often I think, "Why is this person alive? Why are they here? Why bother to be alive? Just because?"
Sometimes I call to mind Raskolnikov, and I think, yeah, he was on to something. Not in the murder way, but the whole "cut people from the team for the greater good" way.
I would say that's most of the comments in every sports group. You will go months before you encounter a single grammatically correct sentence. You see how mentally ill almost everyone is. They give it away. They reveal themselves without knowing they're revealing themselves. If you're like that, you're golden. You are all set up for what society likes, because there is nothing else. Because that's how everyone is. And if you're not, that's a problem. The less you're like these people--because that is everyone--the more alone and shunned you are. So what do you do? I don't know right now. What do you do on that hockey team? What do you do about your teammates? You are impacted by all of this. You can control your game, but if you are the best player in the league, the best there has ever been, you are still impacted by everyone on your team being a lazy, drunken, non-caring, fat ass. So you have to find a way to carry the team? To inspire everyone on the team to do everything they do differently? And they're going to resent you because you're unlike everyone else on the team. And you want there to be standards and accountability. You want a good faith effort.
