Thursday 4/11/19
Actually, there will be a movie element to this entry. Emma asked me for help today with a paper she has to write. It's called an informative essay. That's an official school term now? She texted me from school asking what she might write it on. She needs no ideas from me, certainly. But I try to be encouraging. I said she could do it on the role that titles play in fiction, or her vinyl, or a Tod Browning film (as she is a Browning fan). She texts me back that she thinks she will do it on Nosferatu, Haxan, or Cannibal Holocaust. Then she didn't want to get in trouble at school by writing about Haxan and the devil masturbating. Would you get in trouble for that? It's in the film. Who knows. Whatever.
So she went with Nosferatu, and she was keen to write on the vampire as a pervert. Ah. Now, if you just want something, I won't help you. Sometimes people reach out to me because they want to get a drink, and the reason they want this drink is because they think I might hook them up with someone. Which is never, ever, ever, ever going to happen. No one has done a single thing for me in my career, and what's more, hundreds of people have tried to stand in my way. So, in theory, your route will be easier than mine. But if you actually want to get better at writing, I'll help you. And I'll have the time, too, even if I'm writing the entirety of a book that week plus other things, because that is how I am. We got to talking about the film's cinematography, and Emma said that she didn't know film terms. I said that doesn't matter. That she was an artist and a writer, and she could describe what was happening, how the camera was moving, what perspectives Murnau was providing, the look of the film and how that informed the action and the characters, and so forth. She started talking about the vampire's voyeuristic aspect. She didn't know that word. I said it to summarize something she had said. Then I asked if she wanted to know what the word meant, she said yes, I spelled it, she wrote it down. She does learn fast. She'll say that word in conversation later and she'll use it correctly.
We talked about the corruption of Christ's blood within the imagery of the film, and how vampirism--and how we see vampirism in social media these days--negates free will. She wanted to write on the cinematography, so I suggested she might think about perspective. How Murnau might be vampirizing our perspective. This meant a conversation about subjective and objective camera, by pretending that, okay, here is Emma and Colin at their Starbucks table, and here is a camera on the side of the table, with Emma and Colin facing each other, talking. Objective camera. But if we move the camera behind Emma, so that we just see Colin talking, now the perspective is subjective, as if one were Emma. And if Murnau does that with his vampire, so that we see the action as the vampire sees it, there is a vampiric coercion of perspective, a subjugation of visual free will. As we are having this talk, she completely stole my hibiscus ice tea that I ordered for my blood pressure--lots of hibiscus for me--which made wonder if I would be any good at saying no to a child if I had one. I think if it was my child, I'd be better at it. The things I could teach a child of mine? By helping them learn to think expansively? But I don't know. Maybe I'd just spoil them too much. As it were, I didn't get my drink back. All I've had today is some peppermints and some coffee, and very disturbing, panic-inducing news re: my taxes. Then she wanted to leave so she could start writing, and away we go, with her making me promise when we were back in the building that I would meet her in the hallway later with her computer to go over what she had written.
There are people who hate me, who quite literally want me dead, for a host of reasons. Sometimes because of what I am that they are not, sometimes because, after year and years and years of it, I have to call out bad behavior, when there was no other way to go, nothing else left to me, when what I'd much rather prefer to do--because I hate doing that--is just earn my way, as we should all have to earn our way, and have all of us compete against each other, may the best people win. But one of the reasons I don't like being hated, even by terrible people, is because I'm a good person. I actually am. Not in some lip-service way, not in some fake way, not in some social media pretend way. The real way. The heavy-lifting way. That's why I'm going to be out in the hallway later, with everything I have going on, and fighting not to kill myself, wondering where I might see hope again, if and how and when this hell might ever break, and pass, pretending I'm fine, helping someone who is good at writing who cares about it and who is a good person herself get a little tiny bit better at it.
But this is supposed to be a hockey post. I awoke this morning and did what I will normally be doing for a couple months while still atop the warped mattress in this death hut that wrenches my back, and that was check the hockey playoff scores. I also check Tinder, and despair further for humanity when I see the number of women who have written me one word notes and managed to spell "hi" wrong ("hie," "hih). That's not troubling at all. Great. Go, world. What a society we are now. And if I inquire why they do not know how to spell "hi," or what is the point in sending a note that says nothing else, I will, of course, be told that I am sexist, and a Trump supporter, because that is how it goes now, if you ask someone why they can't spell a very basic word. They will also say that you've attacked or abused them. Simply by asking what is up here. If you are in a relationship, let me tell you, you're missing out on some fun these days when it comes to 2019 dating. Good times.
Anyway, I was surprised to see that the Lightning blew a 3-0 lead. I am not sure this is a good thing. I expect them to clamp down now, and not let a team off the mat. I'm going to be surprised if they don't win the Cup. That team is a loaded wagon. Having said that, I think the Bruins can beat them, if everything goes right. Goaltender play. And I'm not sure it will be Rask in net. These guys are pretty even. You might see both Bruins goalies having a role. They would need their best players to be at their top level, which I think is pretty doable, and McAvoy to play like a 1A D-man. He shows flashes. He's not consistently there yet. And limiting the Lightning's power play chances. Having said that, I think this Leafs series is going to be tough. The Leafs are not going to be this team that gets ousted in the first round every year much longer, not with Tavares there. I like this Bruins team. Their coach has them playing the right way, a blend between defensive structure and offensive freedom, and they have the best line in hockey, easily. Krejci had a nice bounce back year, too, and let us not forget, he has twice led the playoffs in scoring. He's a good secondary scoring center. Plays a nicely responsible defensive game, too--some nights that's the best part of his game.
I think what you might see here with the Bruins is something along the lines of the opening first round series against Montreal in 2011. Or against Toronto in 2013. They easily could have lost those series, and probably should have, in 2013, and yet they went to the Finals. I think that's how much play there is in terms of this Bruins postseason.
But this! This is a treat. It's the Channel 38 broadcast--that means Fred Cusick is the play-by-play guy--of Game 2 of the Bruins' Quarter-Finals series against the eventual Stanley Cup champion New York Islanders, from Boston Garden. That program that you're told is cancelled at the beginning--the audio is a little cut off--was The Movie Loft, which you'll remember fondly if you're a New Englander. You could still see The Odd Couple, though, at 10:30, in case you were sweating that out. Phew. A couple things to note. The Bruins were thought to have a good chance in this series. The Islanders had underachieved that regular season. What had really happened was they had figured out that it was best not to overexert themselves in the regular season, and be ready for the playoffs, after a string of disappointments. Ken Dryden, in The Game, one of the four or five best sports books ever written, which was his chronicle of his last season with the Canadiens--that being 1978-79--stated that the Islanders were the only team Montreal really feared. The Canadiens won the Cup that year, their fourth in a row, but now it was the Islanders' time, and they would win the next four Cups. Also, watch Ray Bourque. This was his rookie year. Watch how awesome he is. I'll say this about Ray Bourque: He is somewhere between the fifth best hockey player ever, and the tenth. You don't know hockey if you have him lower than ten.
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